Let me begin by saying, WOAH! So much has happened since 2010. I had initially written a whole review of 2010 onward going over each years major ups, downs, travels, and happenings. It started to get to be quite a big list very quickly, and I transitioned to just sharing a memory I made when I was 12.
I happened upon the 12 year old memory because at first I want to start 10 years ago. Frankly, I do not remember the New Years between 2009 and 2010, I do not know what I doing or who I was with at the time. Maybe it was the boyfriend at the time? Maybe it was friends? Maybe I was working? Maybe I was sleeping? Sadly, it did not make a lasting impression and I can not share it with you now.
However, I do recall the New Years from 1999 into 2000. I was 12 and the whole church I was with at the time celebrated in the new church building. At this time in my life I lived in New Mexico, I think the church had just finished the newest building that year and the members were very excited. The new building was an events building with baskeball courts, a kitchen, seating for large meetings on said basketball court, and classrooms around the perimeter. Our church was smaller and older, so this addition welcomed and necessary.
I digress on the building though… back to the memory at hand.
That New Year’s was the Y2K scare. When the time clicked to midnight, some of the older church leaders thought it would be very funny to freak all the kids/teens/adults out by shutting off all the power, and they did.
I was standing next to the most gorgeous boy I knew at that time. I had the HUGEST crush on him, but he didn’t really notice me. However, when those lights went out and I was next to the amazing crush of mine (remember, I was 12), he quickly reached out and grasped my hand in fear.
Being me, I had probably already heard the adults plotting this prank so I knew it was fine, but I do not remember the prank being spoilt for me. All I knew, was Y2K happened, but it was fine, the power was out, who cares? We can figure this out.
All the while, for those glorious 23 seconds he held my hand, my crush was a pathetic, sniveling little boy and I was just fine. I knew we would all ok, just keep tall and strong, don’t react but think, and it will all be figured out in the end. I feel like that portion of me hasn’t changed since I was 12. I am strong, I am confident, and I am doing my best to be me through and through. In these last 20 years, parts of me got ripped away, but I am gaining them back.
I can’t say the same for the crush of mine at the time, he was a panicked and afterwards told me he only panicked cause that is what he thought I would do. Needless to say, this crush of mine went for the “prettier” girl in the group, honestly though she was and still is gorgeous.
He was a pretty boy and when I was 12 I learned I did not like pretty boys. They needed too much preening and fawning over.
It is funny the memories that stick. This memory isn’t about the crush at the time, it isn’t about Y2K, it isn’t about the pretty girl, it isn’t about the church, this memory reminds me that I was strong at 12 in my 12 year old way, and I am continually learning to be strong in my 32 year old way. I have always been a strong, stubborn, fearless person by nature, but the world has a way of tearing that down.
This next decade is about rebuilding and designing myself positively.
Happy New Years! Thanks for reading
Til Next Time,