I have been on a challenging path of self discovery recently. As I have begun down this journey, I find it is interesting what one can find inside oneself when walking down a path to fix those things that are broken within. Without going into too much detail, I had hit a point where certain things that were sown into me as a child were undesirable to continue to nurture. I found I have a personality difference that makes me quintessentially me, but is a bit off the beaten path.
As I have been learning, processing, and thinking, I keep coming back to one main idea that is so powerful in my mind that I wanted to share it. The strongest, most bold flavor of thought that has been in my brain is that I can NOT give up on myself. I have to believe in myself. I have to have confidence in myself. If you are raised by a narcissist you are not taught these patterns of thought and I have done that for so long. I can no longer continue to have self deprecating feelings or thoughts. I have struggled so much to be me and the struggle had been overwhelming. I was taught to be different from how I am just to make those around me more comfortable with me. I’m done. My neurodivergent brain and my mental health can no longer take this added stressor.
The self encouraging words of “I can not give up on myself. I am worth this” is as strong in my brain goo as juice concentrate from the freezer section of the grocery store. Did you ever have that frozen juice concentrate? I loved eating that stuff with a spoon, sooooo good! I feel the same way about my self encouraging words right now. They are so good.
I am not here to make you comfortable. I mean this in the most kindest of ways. Do no harm, be kind to others, and be who you are.
Till Next Time,